Note | Caveat | aka Fine Print:
This series aims to be of help to Soon-to-Weds who are in the process of preparing for their wedding. This is by no means an endorsement of any supplier, service or product, and as such will be kept as objective as possible.
Why take advice from a photographer?
My approach to wedding photography is often one of observation rather than direction, simply because I believe that a wedding is a naturally happy occasion and that happy moments will happen naturally without the need for me to step in and make things happen. Observation is a necessary skill in our craft. In this process of observation, I've picked up a few things over the years. This is what I hope to share with those who could use it.
Thanks and enjoy - jason
#1: I'm engaged! What's next?
OK, so you finally did it. After months or years or even decades of waiting, he (or she?) finally popped the question. And without batting an eyelash, you accepted! You grab your phone, call your family and friends and tell them the good news. A quick status change, 84 likes and 56 comments later, reality catches up with you and quickly brings you back to earth with a stark realization:
Not to worry, statistics are on your side. Research shows that over 99% of couples who got married went through some sort of preparation stage. The minority who didn't most likely got married in Vegas. This preparation stage is crucial because it is where you set the theme or mood of your wedding, and where the details to suit the chosen theme aredebated on discussed.
It is also at this stage that you get to know more about the person you're about to marry. You'll find out more about what's really important to him (her) and to yourself as well. It's also a good indication of how you'll handle similar situations in your married life. As you discuss your plans, it's good to list down things according to priority (In case you're on the Forbes 500, you can skip to the next paragraph), such as:
Wishlist - things that would be great to have, time and logistics permitting
Must haves - "We must have _____, or you can just go get married by yourself"
Not haves - the flipside of item #2
Among the very first things to settle is the date of your wedding. In fact, for some couples, this aspect takes precedence over all the other aspects of the wedding. Some go for dates that are easy to remember, such as 08-08-08; others go for their anniversary, albeit for the same reason. Some go for a date that falls within a season, such as Christmas. Whatever the reason, keep in mind practical things to consider. For example, it would be highly impractical for accountants to get married during tax season. Chances are time and resources would be split between attending to work and the wedding details. Also, if you're planning a wedding in the months of December or January, it would be wise to prepare a year before or earlier, as churches and reception venues tend to get booked heavily for these months.
Next on the list of things to settle are the twin matters of the church and the reception venue. Both are related since you need to come up with a church and reception that are near each other and you need timeslots that make sense for your plans and for your guests. While there are some couples who purposely get married at a certain time of a certain day because they believe it's auspicious, the majority will schedule the wedding and reception within a few hours of each other, both for their convenience and that of their guests.
The capacity of both the church and venue are also things that need to be considered. In doing so, have a rough number of your guests in mind and shortlist the places that can fit your guests comfortably. As is the case in big weddings (500 guests and above), most of your guests might only be around during the reception, so your church needn't be that big. Also, check if your reception venue can accommodate more than the estimated number of guests, in case there are last minute additions.
Another aspect to be decided on is the time of the wedding. A morning wedding would mean that the couple will begin their day as dawn breaks, as bridal preparations usually begin 5 hours before the actual wedding. A morning wedding would also usually mean a breakfast or lunch reception, giving the couple plenty of time to entertain their guests both during and after the reception.
Some couples opt to get married in the early afternoon for a variety of reasons. One could be that an afternoon wedding affords them a more leisurely pace in getting ready. Another would be that an afternoon wedding would be done in time for the sunset, which makes for great photo opportunities. Yet another would be that an afternoon wedding leads to a dinner reception, considered by some as more formal or fitting for a wedding. In the end, both have their merits and disadvantages. It's simply a matter of personal preferences and deciding which time best suits your plans.
You might want to sit down and discuss how involved your families will be in your planning. While some parents leave the details entirely to the discretion of the Soon-to-Weds, some will want to have a say. Parents, for example, might discourage you from a having a destination wedding since Lolo and Lola might have a hard time traveling long distances. It might be a good idea at this point to discuss and agree on how independent or interdependent you want to go with your planning.
Wedding coordination also comes in different forms. Some couples choose to go Full Monty, involving their coordinators with the planning, venue and other details. Some go for On-the-Day coordination, since it is on your wedding day that you will need help the most. Full coordination costs more of course, but it is a big help when the couple has little time to attend to the details themselves, or if they are based in another country and need someone to do the legwork for them. OTD coordination, however, is a good alternative if the couple is working on a tight budget and they have time to attend the details themselves.
A good coordinator can also guide you in your choice of suppliers, as they would know who are reliable and who should be avoided at all costs, and this is something you can readily ask your coordinator regardless of the type of coordination you require. Chosen properly, your coordinator can be your best friend during this stage and a Godsend on your wedding day.
In the next post, I'll delve more into the services that coordinators can do for their couples, how to choose a coordinator and what types of coordinators to avoid. For now, bask in the glow of your newfound status and work on those lists. Those will come in handy when you discuss your plans with your family and your coordinator.
'Til next time! Bald Man out!
I'm engaged! What's next?
Not to worry, statistics are on your side. Research shows that over 99% of couples who got married went through some sort of preparation stage. The minority who didn't most likely got married in Vegas. This preparation stage is crucial because it is where you set the theme or mood of your wedding, and where the details to suit the chosen theme are
It is also at this stage that you get to know more about the person you're about to marry. You'll find out more about what's really important to him (her) and to yourself as well. It's also a good indication of how you'll handle similar situations in your married life. As you discuss your plans, it's good to list down things according to priority (In case you're on the Forbes 500, you can skip to the next paragraph), such as:
Wishlist - things that would be great to have, time and logistics permitting
Must haves - "We must have _____, or you can just go get married by yourself"
Not haves - the flipside of item #2
Among the very first things to settle is the date of your wedding. In fact, for some couples, this aspect takes precedence over all the other aspects of the wedding. Some go for dates that are easy to remember, such as 08-08-08; others go for their anniversary, albeit for the same reason. Some go for a date that falls within a season, such as Christmas. Whatever the reason, keep in mind practical things to consider. For example, it would be highly impractical for accountants to get married during tax season. Chances are time and resources would be split between attending to work and the wedding details. Also, if you're planning a wedding in the months of December or January, it would be wise to prepare a year before or earlier, as churches and reception venues tend to get booked heavily for these months.
Next on the list of things to settle are the twin matters of the church and the reception venue. Both are related since you need to come up with a church and reception that are near each other and you need timeslots that make sense for your plans and for your guests. While there are some couples who purposely get married at a certain time of a certain day because they believe it's auspicious, the majority will schedule the wedding and reception within a few hours of each other, both for their convenience and that of their guests.
The capacity of both the church and venue are also things that need to be considered. In doing so, have a rough number of your guests in mind and shortlist the places that can fit your guests comfortably. As is the case in big weddings (500 guests and above), most of your guests might only be around during the reception, so your church needn't be that big. Also, check if your reception venue can accommodate more than the estimated number of guests, in case there are last minute additions.
Another aspect to be decided on is the time of the wedding. A morning wedding would mean that the couple will begin their day as dawn breaks, as bridal preparations usually begin 5 hours before the actual wedding. A morning wedding would also usually mean a breakfast or lunch reception, giving the couple plenty of time to entertain their guests both during and after the reception.
Some couples opt to get married in the early afternoon for a variety of reasons. One could be that an afternoon wedding affords them a more leisurely pace in getting ready. Another would be that an afternoon wedding would be done in time for the sunset, which makes for great photo opportunities. Yet another would be that an afternoon wedding leads to a dinner reception, considered by some as more formal or fitting for a wedding. In the end, both have their merits and disadvantages. It's simply a matter of personal preferences and deciding which time best suits your plans.
You might want to sit down and discuss how involved your families will be in your planning. While some parents leave the details entirely to the discretion of the Soon-to-Weds, some will want to have a say. Parents, for example, might discourage you from a having a destination wedding since Lolo and Lola might have a hard time traveling long distances. It might be a good idea at this point to discuss and agree on how independent or interdependent you want to go with your planning.
Preparing for a wedding has gone a long way from just choosing a date and showing up at the altar. This is why some couples choose to get professional help this early. Yes, I mean getting a wedding coordinator and no, I don't mean involving your psychiatrist in your planning. Ideally, having the former helping you with your plans will prevent a visit to the latter at some point in the preparations.
Wedding coordination also comes in different forms. Some couples choose to go Full Monty, involving their coordinators with the planning, venue and other details. Some go for On-the-Day coordination, since it is on your wedding day that you will need help the most. Full coordination costs more of course, but it is a big help when the couple has little time to attend to the details themselves, or if they are based in another country and need someone to do the legwork for them. OTD coordination, however, is a good alternative if the couple is working on a tight budget and they have time to attend the details themselves.
A good coordinator can also guide you in your choice of suppliers, as they would know who are reliable and who should be avoided at all costs, and this is something you can readily ask your coordinator regardless of the type of coordination you require. Chosen properly, your coordinator can be your best friend during this stage and a Godsend on your wedding day.
In the next post, I'll delve more into the services that coordinators can do for their couples, how to choose a coordinator and what types of coordinators to avoid. For now, bask in the glow of your newfound status and work on those lists. Those will come in handy when you discuss your plans with your family and your coordinator.
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| Photo by Erron Ocampo |
'Til next time! Bald Man out!
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